Dear God, I'm tired!

Hello All,

I hope everyone had a great resurrection weekend!

Its been a while since I took a moment to ramble on my thoughts of the day in the blog-o-sphere but I feel like I need to do it today. As I find myself trying to get back into the swing of things after a month of activity after activity I realize I'm pooped.

Though I'd love to say all the visitors we had in our alters making a commitment to God over the weekend was enough to recharge my batteries at the moment I can't say that, all I can say is I need a nap.

I think as Pentecostals we are afraid to admit when we're tired, which in my humble opinion can be dangerous. I live in the Bay Area, work a 40+ hour a week job which requires that I travel quite a bit, my husband is the Youth Pastor at our church so we have an activity every Friday night, I teach Sunday School to junior highers, attempt to maintain my flowers as a side business, I still need to make sure my husband and I share quality time and I am leaving out all the day to day stuff that cannot be ignored. (I would rather have my wisdom teeth pulled again then deal with my husband on a Sunday morning when he realizes he doesn't have a clean white shirt, all the wives can say amen to that).

I don't mention all of the above in any way looking for pity, I know many of you out there keep this type of schedule and more. However, I do totally feel that every now and again we take inventory of our lives so we don't suffer from burnout.

Nobody wants to be the whiny saint and I certainly do not promote pity parties but I do think its important to recognize when you're running on "autopilot" because when you do God is not getting the best out of you.  I remember kneeling to pray one evening, being so tired that I just didn't feel like I could really connect with God and ended up crying my way through prayer telling God "I'm exhausted".

You may ask "was God pleased with that?", I don't know but at the time it was all I could manage. Since then I have done my best to better manage my time. Have I succeeded? Not fully but at least I am more aware of what I devote my energy to. I try to incorporate into my prayers that God helps me not to become overwhelmed with life and the things that I can't change. Until someone buys me that winning mega millions lotto ticket I have to work. :-)

What are the things I CAN change?  A huge part of the "Pentecostal lifestyle" is fellowship but can fellowship actually hinder our walks with God? Some of my groggiest, grumpiest Sunday mornings are after a late evening in San Francisco with other precious saints of God. Did I really  need to hang out with friends until the wee hours of the morning getting ice cream? Probably not (and my waistline seconds the motion!)

Where I devote my time and energy has really been on my mind a lot lately. I want to do more for God and I don't want to be so tired that it feels like its a chore when I'm doing it.God help me not to spend time and energy on the things that do not matter.

Siena